


Bite

by yuzui



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Secret Relationship, You Have Been Warned, sexual awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-19 00:38:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15498411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuzui/pseuds/yuzui
Summary: Who in this world are we suppose to trust? And to what extent? Why do we all take love and compassion for granted, when in reality, that’s one of the most complicated and longed for feelings.// AU where Yuzuru joins Toronto Cricket Club in 2014, after his big success at the sochi olympic; where he is forced to face his biggest nightmare. Affection.





	Bite

_Just_ _one_ _more_ _spin._ _C’mon_ _._ _You_ _can_ _do it._  

 

 _It’s just me on the ice. Just me. The whole stadium is filled with people. Humans. Citizens. and non-citizens. Not to sound conceited but most people are there to see me. I know it. Their eyes glued to me like I would fade away if they so blink. Maybe I would. Maybe I will. Maybe that is why I hold my breath and shut my eyes as close as I can when I charge myself from the ice into the humid air. To later disappear. Even though the whole stadium is excessively lit up, there's still an even brighter spotlight highlighted on me. Following my every step. My every move. My every breath. My every mistake._   

 

 **Popped** **.**  

 

 _Damn_ _it._  

 

 _“Don’t stress yourself too much,_   _slow_   _down_ _”_  

 

Yuzuru’s arms hang lifelessly by his sides and he’s hunched down touching the ice with his bare hands as he comes back to reality. A few other skaters speeds by him not really caring about that  _mistake_  he just did. At times like this he usually looks up. Up at all the different flags hanging down from the wall. His is not up there yet. It’s just a piece of fabric; colored to give the illusion that's it means something. When in retrospective of things, it really means nothing. It’s not real. It’s fake. It’s trying to be real. It wants to be real. But it’s not, it’s just an impersonation of the real thing.  

He looks up to his right and see the nameplates of prestige skaters and their successful career milestones. He’s even more prestige. His name is not up there yet. But he’s more prestige. He is. Some of the names up there are his own idols. Or has been. Or will be. It’s hard to put a timestamp on something so precious. You don't want it to go away, you don’t want it to have an expiration date, but you also don't want to remember the dark times before them. Or maybe you do. Maybe they just made your life so much more complicated you  _want_ them to go away and never come back. Feeling empty being a given consequence. A feeling we all try to avoid. Maybe we shouldn't try so hard.  

Skaters from all around the world coming together right here on this rink. Yuzuru liked it. He really did. But not as much as he likes

 

“Javi! You’re back.” His thoughts got interrupted by Tracy’s almost ear-piercing voice. He looked up from his distressed stance and tried to not stare too much at what might be his biggest mistake. Brian waved without looking back and started scolding him at the spot. “You’re late.” Javier fixed the strap of his bag on his shoulder and scuffed at the sudden nag on him. “I still have ten minutes.” Slight irritated voice, he could hear it. “You should be warmed-up by then.”

Yuzuru could tell Brian was not happy with the situation, but the faint smile told him he wasn't upset either.  

“What a warm welcome back.”  

“Yeah, yeah. Go change.” Brian said while flapping his hand in the air, gesturing him to hurry up.  

 

Javier was about the turn left in the corridor towards the changing room when his eyes caught something unfamiliar in his _oh-so-familiar_  training territory. He dropped his heavy backpack and walked towards the ice. Yuzuru was standing by the pillars that surrounded the rink, fiddling with the hem of his long sleeve. “Ah! Of course!” Brian exuded when Javier had touched his coach’s shoulder, raising an eyebrow at him. “Javi meet Yuzu, Yuzu, Javi.” He continued.  

At the same time, they both presented their own way of greeting. Javi reached out his hand and Yuzuru, bowed. It was a quick bow, but at that moment that we both had showed our leading commands by taking the first initiative, he felt stupid. _So stupid. Stupid Stupid Stupid. Why didn’t I just accept his handshake. I didn’t see it until it was already too late. But I still feel stupid._  Javi wasn't faced by it at all and softly laughed it off placing a hand on his shoulder. Warm. Very warm. Almost too warm. He liked it. It only lasted for a quick second before he retrieved his hand again. He hated it. “You guys should know each other already.” Brian said while grabbing his calendar that was neatly placed on a bench behind him. “Yeah, we know each other i guess. But we don’t really  _know_  each other exactly.” Javi said with a fading laugh in his voice. Soothing. He liked it.  

“When did you get here?” Javi looked straight into yuzuru’s soul. How could a simple question sound like such an arrogant threat. Yuzu didn’t know how he did it, but for the first time since he landed on Canadian ground, he felt completely lost.  

“About two weeks ago.” He answered immediately, faking confidence, but his voice was weak. “Oh, so right when I left then.” Javier’s voice wasn’t. 

“Yeah, I guess so.“ Yuzuru let his gaze wonder around, trying not to land on his gleaming eyes again. He looked ignorant. _I could tell. I looked straight up rude. So rude. You look at someone's face when you’re talking to them. I’m being so rude. But I'm not. I swear I'm not. I’m just worried. But what I did just now, was pretty rude._

His thoughts were once again interrupted by their coach.

“Your sessions will overlap a bit the first week or so,” He flipped thru some pages of his calendar and continued. “I still have to do some changes in my schedule to match up with yours as best as possible.”  

“Oh, no that’s fine. Just whatever works for you.” Yuzuru said without hesitation. Brian looked up at him without lifting up his head and then let his eyes slowly lead him down again, keeping his concentration on his book. “Mmm.. No, that won’t do. Skaters comes first and skaters comes second. Coach comes third.” His face was emotionless. Javi looked at Yuzu which made him force himself to finally lock eyes with him. He gave him a smirk and lifted up both his eyebrows. “He’s very protective of his kids.” He said and let his eyes wander back to his coach. “Everything’s fine by me, just let me know when the finished schedules are ready.” Javi turned around and walked back to grab his backpack. “I want you on the ice in five!” Brian closed his book and turned his attention back to Yuzuru. “Good job today kid. Just do some cooldown laps before you leave.”  

Yuzu let his hand run through his unwashed hair. 

“Actually, is it okay if I stay a bit longer today?” 

 

__ 

 

“You know, I've always admired your skating.” Javi confessed to Yuzuru as they both walked to the changing room together. But not really together. He didn’t say anything back, just kept walking. He opened the door and could feel Javi trail behind him. “I still do,” He continued and sat on the bench next to his bag. Yuzu sat on the opposite side. He just smiled. That was polite. But he didn’t see it. 

Yuzuru hated it. Compliments. The worst. It scared him. It made him feel like he couldn’t mess up. Compliments would just linger in his mind and haunt him each night and each time he would mess up. Spy over him like a hawk. Look after him to make sure he didn’t do any mistakes. Not like an angel. But like a demon. The demon was quite nice though. It even smiled at times. It was polite. But its intention was bad. The demon he so longed for. The demon that wouldn’t save him, but help him. Help him save himself. He loved the demon. He even _liked_  the demon. But more so, he hated the demon. 

“Want to go out for a drink? Get to know each other a bit now that we have lessons together.” Javi asked while wiping his blades clean. _Why would he ask me that? Why would he just assume it was okay for him to ask me such a question_? His voice was so soft. Too soft for yuzu’s liking. “I don’t drink.” For some reason his fingers fumbled while trying to untie his skates. Javi scuffed playfully and looked his way. “Not even water?” His voice had gone down deeper which took Yuzu by surprise. If it wasn’t for only them two being in the room he wouldn’t have thought Javi was the one speaking. Yuzu didn't answer him. He thought that was a question that didn’t needed an answer. He didn’t look back at Javi but he could sense his smile fading.  

“Not much of a talker I guess.” Javier stood up and put his bag on his back. “A smile would be appreciated though. For a first impression you’re pretty rude.” With that statement he turned around and walked out. Leaving Yuzu and his thoughts alone.  

_I wasn’t being rude. He was the rude one. What in his mind told him I have the free time to just hang out with someone I don’t know. I’m not like him. Leaving culture and origin behind, we’re so different. Our personalities are not compatible at all. My biggest nightmare coming to life right at this moment._

Three knocks on the door was all it took to break Yuzu’s trance of thoughts. It opened revealing a girl. He’d seen her before. Not really paying much attention but he knew she didn’t skate with any of his coaches. Tall, probably only a few centimeters shorter than himself, copper skin and her hair put in a high ponytail, it was long and dark brown but would reflect orange and reddish tones when the light hit her. Probably his own age, maybe a bit younger. Pretty.  

She stood by the doorway, her hand still on the handle when she singled out the only subject in the room. Yuzuru. “Hey sorry, I lost my bracelet somewhere and I can’t find it.” Her eyes left the focus on him and started scanning the floor of the place. “It’s purple and made by silk, basically just a piece of fabric.” A short giggle left her lips and she smiled at him with almost sorrowed eyes. Really pretty. “Sorry, haven't seen it.” He told the truth. “If you find it could you put it in the  _lost &found_ or just give it to me if I'm around?” Yuzu nodded and responded, “I’ll keep a lookout.” With a pleased look she left the room.  

He was left alone. Again. He liked it. Being alone let him give his fullest attention to his own thinking and speculations. It was like the whole world stopped, just for him, waiting for him to be done so it could start spinning again. This was the only time he got some peace and quiet from his usual hectic mornings and frenetic afternoons and confused evenings and restless nights. This was the only time he got to express myself the way he wanted to, instead of having to limit his sayings in the real world. But it wasn't just a time for himself to be as creative and expressive as he wanted –even though he multiple times made up unrealistic and formative scenarios in his life- it was more so for his own good, he had a discussion amongst himself. Just him. He was his own therapist and he admired himself for that. 

 

Yuzuru stood up from the bench after putting his skates back in his bag. It's safety place. And with a big heavy sigh of exhaustion brought the bag strap on to his shoulder. 

There it was. Hidden under the thing he cherished the most. 

A piece of fabric, colored violet.  


End file.
